By Kevin Stu
Model Kate Upton, who is famous for her recent cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit magazine, as well as her “Cat Daddy” video, in which she dances half-naked to the no longer popular song, is raising questions about her facial appearance.
We asked Ryan Erickson, a college student who has watched her Cat Daddy video over 3000 times, whether or not he has seen her face. “That chick is super hot! a total twelve on the boner scale. but jeez I really can’t really remember what her face looks like, Bro” states Ryan about the up and coming model. However, Ryan is not the only one curious about the mystery of Kate Upton’s cranium. Many people are beginning to speculate that the 19 year old may not even have a face at all, let alone a head. We asked Mel Jacobs, a photographer who spent 9 hours shooting photos of Kate last week, whether he remembers her important upper body feature. Mel seemed fairly convinced that the she has some sort of object above her neck. He states, “I remember Kate quite vividly. Her body was tremendous and her fun-bags were out of this world, also, i’m about 65% sure she had eyes and ears and stuff too”.
We actually sent several of our male co-workers to investigate the pictures taken by Mel, but still got no conclusive evidence. One employee stated “Oh man. Those pictures were effing awesome. I can remember almost everything. She was wearing this barely there blue poke-a-dot bikini, and had this perfect tan…” we interrupted him and asked about Kate’s hair. “Hair? Oh shit, I guess she was brunette…I think, maybe a red head. Im not sure, but her body was totally bangin” We commended our star employee on his valiant efforts.
So I guess the question is still out there. Does Kate Upton have a skull, or is she just a walking torso with arms and an incredible set of boobs? If you have any substantial information that can help solve this case, please contact us. In the meantime, check out some pictures of Kate Upton below.
- kevin-stu posted this